{6.7.12} weeds.

oh, what peace we often forfeit
oh, what needless pain we bear
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

no matter how good or faithful God has been to me throughout my entire life, i still find myself unable to fully and completely surrender my hopes and dreams to him.

a few days ago we were at the beach and as i walked through a sandy field of grass picking dandelions, i was hit with the call to surrender. i found a hidden place to sit, and i cried. i imagined that all of the tears falling down my cheek were the tangible expression of my dreams falling to God’s feet, dreams i want to trust him with. dreams he deserves and has proven he can be trusted with.

when i made my way to the sand, i twirled the bouquet of weeds in my hands. what an offering, right? a bunch of weeds.

but that’s the thing about God. he wants my weeds.

i carefully built an altar and placed my weeds in the middle. jonny lang has a song that best tells you what happened next.

i’ll give you my burdens…
i’ll give you peace.
all of my desires…
i’ll give you what you need.
and what about these chains, Lord?
i’ll set you free.
but they’re so heavy…
lay them at my feet.
i’ll lay them at your feet..
just promise you won’t leave.
i’ll never leave.
so where do i go from here, Lord?
just follow me… just follow me.

{more than a man, jonny lang}

i took a picture so i could print it out a hundred times and leave it all over, everywhere. constant reminders that i have given these things to God. surrender is a daily thing, not a one time place or moment. that place or moment is just the beginning. every day, multiple times a day, i must spiritually carry the burden of hope to God and place it at his feet and say “take it – it’s yours.” surrendering my stuff to God doesn’t mean i suddenly stop producing hopes, dreams and desires. it just means i know where to let it all pour out.

the past four days have proven to me that i need reminders. sometimes i forget that i have given them to God and i don’t need to fill my time and waste my energy trying to create the desired outcomes.

by now, i’m sure my altar is gone. but i have that picture.