and she swears that she’s artsy.

Hello, Seattle.
I am (a mountaineer, a manta ray, the crescent moon, a cold seahorse, an albatross, an old lighthouse…)

Last night Mei-Ling and I went to the newly remodeled Crocodile Cafe to see our friends from The BGP play. They did so amazing. I stood there, thinking “how in the world did I get blessed with  such talented friends?”

By the way, the new Croc is amazing. When it was first announced that it was closing down, I was upset to the point of tears. I was anxious to see the remodel and was blown away. Our first stop was the bathroom, and I couldn’t stop commenting on how nice it was. Mei-Ling said “for the first time, I can use the bathroom at the Croc without worrying about catching anything.” It’s a completely different feel, but I still love it. To those of you who never experienced the original Crocodile Cafe: I am so sorry. Tried finding before and after pictures but gave up.

The other day I was looking through Tim’s blog, at his awesome drawing skills and decided that I would try to draw a few things. Two things to note about this self portrait:

#1. My upper lip is smaller than my lower lip. It drives me crazy.

#2. I have no idea what color my eyes are.

So then as I was laying in bed that night, bored to tears with the book Grace Gone Wild (if you’re going to name a book something like Grace Gone Wild, it should probably be really thrilling or exciting. I’m determined to get through this book, though I can go two pages before wanting to slam my head against a wall) and I decided to draw Jami.

Calm down, I have never drawn anything before in my entire life. That’s a lie, because once I tdrew a dinosaur..  this is my most prized drawing.. though I’m pretty sure it’s been thrown away. Mei-Ling and I were at a coffeeshop in Seattle, and I was so violently opposed to the opening act that I sat on the floor with paper and drew with crayons. This is Rex, and Rex has a grill.

Right now I’m at the Q Cafe. Despite the fact that I drank an entire pot of coffee earlier today (which made me anxious and jittery) I decided to sneak away to my heaven on earth. There are a few places that I must visit every time I’m in Seattle; Easy St Records and the Q Cafe. Done and done.

Today I invested in this Jeff Buckley CD/DVD set:

That mocha in the picture is now inside of me, in case you were wondering.

Today there were raindrops on my windshield, which is the only context I find okay to listen to Jeff Buckley. I really can’t wait to watch this DVD. For as much as I love Jeff Buckley, I have never seen video of him. There’s something different about knowing the way someone’s mouth moves when they sing or if they keep their eyes open or closed that provides a new level of intimacy.

When Jeff was alive, he collected keys. Once I read that, I started keeping every key I could.. in some weird way it makes me feel like he is still alive.

It’s weird when musicians die.

Ray Charles is one of my favorite musicians. When the movie Ray came out, I was living in Seattle and drove to Portland to see the movie with my dad, who first introduced me to Ray’s music and took me to see him in concert a few years prior. I sobbed through the entire movie, and an elderly couple asked my dad if I was okay. My dad replied “yes, she just misses Ray Charles a lot.” A confused look spread across their faces and they asked “Did she know him?” and he said “no, but she loved him very much.”

Ray Charles dead is as much a part of my life as Ray Charles alive was. Jeff Buckley died a good ten years before I ever heard of him. Michael Jackson died, and I am confused by my sadness.

Jeff Buckley died in a river. He spread his arms out, walked into a river, and was taken away. His body was found a few days later (on May 30th, 1997.. my 12th birthday) down river. No drugs, no drunkenness.. just a brilliant person with a strange desire to do something. Sometimes I relate. There are days when I take my glasses off, leave my house with no coat on, and walk around in the rain, feeling alive. Some days I take long walks around the lake at camp without my shoes on. And other days I lay with my head hanging upside down over the edge of my bed, watching raindrops fall up my window, listening to Jeff Buckley.

ps sneezes smell weird, anyone else agree?