today i:
- curled up in the fetal position, crying, and declared “I JUST WANT TO READ!”
- smashed my face into the floor, crying, and declared “i am just so tired.”
- sat on my toilet seat, crying, and wished my bathroom was black like the insides of my soul
- sat on the bathroom counter, crying, and watched the tears magically swell up in my eyes
- got a headache when i moved my head too fast
- got a headache when i moved my head too slow
- got a headache reading
- got a headache when my mom rustled a plastic bag
- got a headache when the dvd player wouldn’t play harry potter and the goblet of fire
- got a headache while i was hanging up clothes
- felt like i had no real reason for being alive
and then i realized
that i have not had
one single drop of coffee today.
so not drinking coffee turns me into myself at the age of 14.
in other news, last night i had a cup of coffee with elias, the most brilliant 10-year-old i know. when he got his cup of coffee, he replayed this moment.
me: ….are you drinking coffee?
7-year-old elias: no, i’m drinking decaf!
7-year-old elias: no, i’m drinking decaf!
elias and i are the same; coffee soothes us and calms us down. here’s to a lifetime of sharing coffee with elias, though soon it will take much more travel to happen. but more on that later… i’m hoping the tears have dried up for today.
this has been an overly emotional blog post brought to you by stephanie a. orefice.
